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Chapter one

Perhaps it would have been better not to have met Nikolas, not to anticipate his compliments, his bright smile over his charm, his way of comforting me when I was sad, his humor and his gentlemanly way of dealing with me with a lady who grew up in a difficult family situation, with a mother who was an alcoholic and a father who left early and lived with another woman, but even if I hadn't forgotten him and still sometimes dream of him at night. I knew Nicolas didn't deserve me after what he did. His last words still ring in my ears today, even though more than twenty years had passed and I had the feeling that life had taught me something completely different from the lovesickness at the age of eighteen: "I too can deal with feelings play, Lara," he said with a soft smile as he said goodbye. It always bothered me. What did he mean by that? For years I'd chewed on it like hard-edged bread that nearly ripped my teeth out, wondering what his words meant. The fact was that I had never seen him again and many other things had happened, like my daughter I had raised and my job as an office clerk. I had had many more dates, I had cheated to get revenge on Nicolas, my past love, but what good did that do me? What brought the revenge. You stayed away empty, felt happy for a few minutes and then, perplexed, the old emptiness came back. What sense did that make, please? You went away with empty pockets, not with full ones. I would never get Nicolas back anyway. One day I noticed it, it dawned on me in a matter of seconds like a blindingly bright flash in the darkness, sixteen years later. It was so damn easy. Why didn't I realize that earlier. Why had I tried so hard to get rid of the old pain. I had wanted to understand why he had cheated on me with the other and left me and it was so simple. Nicolas had played the same game as I had after him. He had taken revenge on me because of a past love, which it seriously looked like had not been reciprocated and he had used "the second sight" as my aunt Frederike called it today when I asked her about it years later to disappoint me and his past love had also gotten very close to him and had let me down. Sometimes, I had learned, you first had to get to know yourself in order to understand other people who did you wrong and as a second step to understand, as a third step to forgive, even if that was damn difficult, but better than torturing yourself further. forgive yourself for playing the same game and then move on and develop a different attitude. Because an optimistic view was better than an overly negative attitude in life. Move on and face the future not with fear but with hope.

23 сентября 2022 г. 9:59:18 0 Отчет Добавить Подписаться

Об авторе

Rebecca Wolff Rebecca Wolff ist auf der schwäbischen Alb geboren, wohnhaft im Kreis Stuttgart. Schreiben ist ihr Hobby. Es ist wunderbar in die Welt des Schreibens einzutauchen und auch zu lesen. Sie denkt gerne über den Sinn des Lebens nach, hinterfragt auch vieles. Ihre eBooks beschreiben meistens das Leben.


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