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Tempest

As I stand upon this pinnacle of stone,

mere mortal man,

formed of flesh and bone,

I stare out into the abyss

thrashing, crashing, gnashing

maw of the ancient Charybdis.

Though I may see such a tempest

scouring, searching, seeking,

trying to find a place of rest,

I know that no matter the storm,

through the rain, through the wind,

through every lightning strike,

whatever the form,

what ever the pain this body will endure,

until the last jagged blast, the final gasp, the terminal breath taken at last,

one thing I know for sure

The tempest that rages more fiercely,

a veritable visage of vexation

lays deep within me.

11 октября 2021 г. 14:57 12 Отчет Добавить Подписаться
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Sean Elliot I write mostly because and about my Starlight, a person very close to me and something more. The twin of my own soul. I write mostly poetry, but also some short stories.

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SL Star Light
Please don’t stop because of me. I eat in my car so if you feel like you want to come you can. It’s the only time I have to myself. He comes here every day when he gets off so It’s entirely up to you if you want to risk it.

  • Sean Elliot Sean Elliot
    I dont want it to cause you more grief. Ive done enough damage. It was my way to vent and somehow connect with you but I didnt realize what the effect would be on your side and im sorry for that. Ill try and let you know when I plan to come up there, that way I wont take you by surprise. October 12, 2021, 20:19
Sean Elliot Sean Elliot
Its topsy turvy this world we are in now. A year ago, things were simpler. We were friends, and everything else was just in our own minds. We knew how we fit into our little pieces of life. And now we are both so mixed up it feels as though flailing though quicksand would be easier to deal with. I wish I could see the future, what decisions could be made that would have the best outcome for all of us. But that is not one of my talents. I dont regret any of what we had/have together, but i do regret that it placed us in situations where we cant see ourselves out, that you are in fear in your own home. I made the warning we could never go back, and I should have listened my own stupid self. What we had as friends, while not fully what we wanted, should have been enough. I know there is alot going on on your side, and I wish you could see yourself getting out of that bad situation you are in. He is not in the right, no matter what he has you believing. And I wont worry you with things on my side. Though, I miss my confidante, and being yours. If there is anything that i can do to help you, please let me know. Even if that means leaving you be for awhile.
SL Star Light
You know my schedule. I take lunch at 11 if you want to talk sometime face to face. I hate causing you any hurt. I’m trying to sort out and work on all the things that I keep bottled up. I want to be happy and I don’t exactly know how but I’m going to figure it out.

  • Sean Elliot Sean Elliot
    I would love to be able to see you, I just fear if he were to decide to come visit or send someone to watch you. I wish you would tell me the things that are going on, at the very least just to be a sympathetic ear for you. I want you happy too. October 11, 2021, 18:21
  • Sean Elliot Sean Elliot
    Tell me when and where and ill be there if i can. But I want you to tell me everything that youve kept bottled up. Even if it hurts me. I promise you cant hurt me more than i already have in my mind. And weve promised and held to honesty our entire time knowing each other. I think... unless you tell me different... i think im going to stop writing. October 12, 2021, 17:44
SL Star Light
I love you so much more than I ever knew was possible. I think of you all day everyday. I have been dreaming about aiden again. It just hurts knowing I can never have that ya know. I have never felt what I feel for you for anyone. I feel like I’m holding you back.

  • Sean Elliot Sean Elliot
    And I love you, every fiber of my being. You would never be the one to hold me back, that lies solely on my own shoulders. And I know it does hurt, and maybe i shouldnt hope, because I know what that means to other people involved, and that more people would end up being hurt just so that we could find our happiness. And Im always asking myself if my own worth is enough. If it isnt better for me to endure with a smile. And if I could, i would take all of your hurt and pain and issues of self worth and make them my own, so that you could find your happiness, and i could shoulder your burden. October 11, 2021, 18:18
SL Star Light
So I’m feeling very odd today and I need to get something off my chest because I’m not sure I will ever get the nerve to say it again. I feel like maybe you are toying with me. Like I’m being strung along by all these beautiful words but at the end of the day I know that I will never be good enough. Also I don’t deserve it …you I mean. You have a beautiful family and it is eating me alive that I’m coming in between you and your happiness.

  • S L Star Light
    Also I’m in self destruct squirrel brain mode today so sorry if I’m being a horrible person I’m really not trying to. My brain just cannot handle the amount of crap going on in my life right now. October 11, 2021, 16:14
  • Sean Elliot Sean Elliot
    I will stop if it helps, i am glad that you told me though. I promise Im not toying with you, I hate that you feel that way. That anything I say or do hurts you more than you already are. You have enough uncertainty in your life, I dont want to add to it. You do deserve happiness and so much more. You are an amazing woman and showed me love that I have never experienced in my lifetime. Any man should feel blessed to have someone like you if they were to see you as you truly are. You are right though, I do have a beautiful family, and I have fought tooth and nail with myself to try and rebuild the love I had before. I honestly dont know if I can though. Im a coward who is in some form of limbo. I cant move forward because you occupy my thoughts and dreams and whether we do or dont talk, wont change that, at least for a long time. And I am too honor bound and scared of uncertainty to tell her the truth. And I know that is so unfair to you. So, if it helps you, i will stop posting. But my heart will still be with you. October 11, 2021, 16:33
  • Sean Elliot Sean Elliot
    I wish i could help, i wish I could just hold you and tell you everything is going to be ok. I wish I could actually talk to you, instead of going though this. October 11, 2021, 16:35
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