He never did want anyone to experience the feeling he felt. The feeling of falling in love with someone who was already taken. He had fallen in love with someone, he knew he couldn’t be with.
He was always a constant. Always in sight but never in reach.
Qian Kun had always been there for him, them. He was the eldest Chinese member and a literal angel. Mark always envied the maknaes for having the angel’s attention half of the time. But that was the thing, Kun always looked after the maknaes, he was close with the other Chinese members. His favorite hyung was Johnny and his favorite dongsaeng happened to be Chenle and the other Dreamies. He even showed his love to Jungwoo, a fellow Korean member but never him. It was as if Kun only paid attention to the younger dream members and the said Chinese teammates.
Mark had always felt pride in being first, always happy and content with getting what he received. He felt happy knowing others were satisfied with his work, patted his back with appreciation. He had always wanted to please the people around him, fans, teammates, the agency; alike. However, he could never catch this certain gés attention at all.
Yes, Kun always made sure to ask Mark about his day, always made sure the younger was not overworked, always cooked food for the rapper, but that’s what he did for everyone. He took care of everybody. He cared for each one of them and Mark wasn’t an exception. But of course, there is always this one person who you would look up to, that one person you would depend on, and for Mark it was Kun but unfortunately for Kun it wasn’t him but rather Johnny. Johnny who was the only one who could keep Kun’s gaze the longest, the one who was Mark’s best friend and love-rival.
And the young boy couldn’t do anything as he saw his best friend and the love of his life kissing at the extravagant alter of their wedding venue. His other members cheering at the background as a certain member looked over at Mark’s pained expression and gave a teary eyed, sad smile. Unknown to Mark, there had always been a certain member who knew all about Mark’s love for Kun but still loved the boy with all his heart. That boy was none other than, Lee Donghyuck.
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