Looking into his eyes I see all the things that have made so many women fall in love with him: the eyes that sparkle with both the depth of his soul and the brightness of his personality, the long face which is strong and authoritative yet kind, the lips that are soft and succulent and that beg to be savored and devoured at the same time, and the curly locks which dangle alongside the most magnificent cheek bones god has ever given to a human, the ones every woman wishes she had herself.
All of these attributes given to one man… it’s just not fair.
When I look into his eyes I feel the rush of excitement that comes from knowing you are looking at something truly “extraordinary” something that is like Haley’s comet and only comes around once in a lifetime. It’s not just how he looks but it’s how he looks at me. The look that says…you are the only woman I could ever want. I desire you like no other woman in the world. You are special, one of a kind and if I don’t have you I will die. His look penetrates your soul and turns your insides into jelly. No words are needed; his eyes express his words for him.
If a picture of Dominic Rhys can evoke those kinds of emotions, imagine what it would be like to actually meet him in person! Yes, I am entranced by a man I have never met.
Dominic Rhys is a British actor who I was introduced to by my daughter. She loved his show Dante’s Inquisition and had been bugging me for ages to watch it with her. I watched the first couple of shows but I wasn’t really interested so I only half paid attention. One day I found myself getting interested in one of the episodes and I understood what she had been saying about it all along. Not only was it a great show, but I became very interested in Dominic’s portrayal of the main character Dante.
I decided to look into this Dominic person to see what all the fuss was about. I soon found out he was one of the most popular British actors on TV and he was in several upcoming movies as well. I guessed I was late to the party in discovering his talent but I didn’t let that stop me as I started to research other things he had been in. The more I watched the more enamored I became with his acting. By reading his articles and interviews I became enamored with the man himself as he was more than just a pretty face. He had a kind and genuine soul that I became hooked on as well.
How can I feel this attachment to someone I’ve only seen in pictures and movies? Thanks to today’s modern technology I have easy access to him 24/7. There are literally thousands of different pictures on the internet, tons of videos and transcripts of interviews he has done. Unfortunately I am not the only one who feels this way about him but fortunately people are good to share their information online.
There it is again… that intense feeling. The feeling that my heart is going to jump out of my chest and my stomach is tied into a million knots. The feeling so intense that I don’t know if I can stand it, I don’t know how to deal with it… I’m not sure whether to enjoy it or fear it. I get this feeling after reading his words or watching him perform. He causes emotions to swell up inside of me that I have never had before. A tsunami is a good word to describe this feeling as I don’t get any warning its coming, I don’t get time to prepare, it’s just there and so intense that it washes over my entire being. Sometimes, it leaves me gasping for breath. Other times it leaves me crying, because the emotion is too much to handle. It’s both delightful and frightening at the same time. The only thing I do know is when I get this feeling I have to stop reading or stopping watching. I can’t take in any more of him; he has overloaded my sensory receptors. I am afraid to continue as I don’t know if I will pass out or explode, I only know I am too scared to find out what happens next so I stop until I can regain control of my senses.
I knew I had to do something about this feeling or else it would continue to consume me; I had to see if I could connect with this man and explore why I felt this way. The possibility of that happening was next to zero but I never felt more inspired to try. For the first time in my life, I wanted to write a letter to a man I had never met- a fan letter of sorts. But I don’t write fan letters, I’m not a teenage girl with a crush. But yet I began to compose just such a letter. This letter had to be special. It had to be amazing enough for him to not only want to read it but to invoke in him a small semblance of the feelings he invokes in me. I needed to meet this man, this man who has turned my life upside down.
I started to write the letter but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. I wrote one letter and just when I thought I had it right, I decided I wanted to say something different. I deleted that letter and wrote a different one. I got that one just right and then I decided I didn’t like it and wrote a different one. In all I think I wrote 9 different letters and then I decided to listen to my heart and write the letter saying just exactly what I wanted to say. In order to show him I wasn’t just any ordinary female, I decided that I would tell him exactly what it would be like if he and I were together, what it would be like if I were his companion, his girlfriend. I wrote about what I would do for him and then what I would want from him. I wrote all of the things that I wish I had in my current relationship and what I have learned from past ones. I wrote about all the things I knew were important to him and what is important to me.
It surprised me how easy it was to write this letter. The words came quickly and sounded realistic. I had no problem saying what I wanted to say because I knew what I wanted out of a relationship. I decided to be myself, not to try to write what I thought he would want to hear but what I wanted to say. I tried to be aloof in tone because I wanted him to feel like I was the woman he should be with; but, that I was someone who wasn’t easy to get; that I was a woman of quality that he needed to win over.
I printed the letter, addressed the envelope and put it in my purse. I had to sneak it into a mailbox when no one else was watching. I couldn’t put it in the mailbag at work because the girls who handled the mail would see it. I couldn’t put it in an external mailbox when I was with Julien, my husband, because he would want to know what it was. I couldn’t tell him I wrote a fan letter to another man as he would think I had lost my mind, Hell, sometimes I think I have lost my mind. I carried the letter around with me for a week and a half before I got the chance to sneak away by myself and mail it. Once it was in the mailbox, there was no turning back; all I could do was wait.
I’m not sure what I was waiting for. I knew with all the fan mail he gets that my letter would likely never get to him, but there was always a possibility it would. I felt that if he actually read the letter it would mean something to him. I felt I had tapped into his wants and needs and he would consider me to be the perfect match-if he got to read it that is.
Then I started to think, what if he did read it? What if he did contact me? He certainly wouldn’t be interested in me once he saw me. I am attractive but I am also very overweight. He would take one look at me and that would be the end of that. If he did contact me, I couldn’t let him see me, I would have to figure out something else. Could I lose weight now when I had failed so many times in the past? Perhaps this new motivation would be enough to get me through...just in case.
Obrigado pela leitura!
VSAn interesting story so far, the look into the main characters thoughts as she doubts, fears, hopes, and dreams about a chance letter fueled relationship with a movie star echoes the kind of daydreams I know we all have had from time to time. (Grace Jones, how I wish you answered my mail like this)