I was cleaning the drawer, when I saw a leather journal wrapped with a thread. I knew what it was, but it had been missing since years. I had always wanted to read it, but I never had the nerve to open it . But now is the time, I thought. I sensed a heavy feeling in my chest, when I opened the journal to the page, where the book mark was kept. I felt tears brimming my eyes when I started reading.
I was missing him, so bad that I couldn't even put it into words... but he had no time for me. I told him that I wanted to meet him, but he said that he couldn't come over, so I just sat and thought as to what went wrong in our relationship... after half an hour, he called me, he said that he is in front of my house waiting for me to open the door.
I smiled, this was the day.. I had thought. I would resolve all my problems now.. tell him all my fears and he would understand me, he would comfort me, he would tell me that, there's nothing I need to worry about, until I don't believe him.
But I couldn't be more wrong.
He came inside. My eyes looked bright under his presence, my lips automatically curved themselves, into a beautiful smile.
I wrapped my arms around his warm body.
He was tall enough and I was barely 5 ft. My head sunk into his chest.
I could feel his heart beat, I had been missing this feeling since so long, the warmth of his muscular body, he hugged me back, his arms protecting me as if I was a child.
I closed my eyes, lost in his beautiful touch. I didn't feel him move under my hold, he just stood there for what seemed like about 3 minutes, until he finally kissed my forehead and rolled over my bed.
Chuckling at his move, I sat down beside him, while he was giving me a silly smirk. But there was something missing in his eyes, the spark that he always carried, seemed fading away with time.
Anyways, he pulled me closer with a jerk, such that I landed beneath him.
"I just came to see you darling, I know you have been missing me. ", he whispered near my ears, giving a tingling sensation to my stomach.
As soon as I realised what he was saying, the smile faded away from my soft lips.
I couldn't understand him, he continued saying that he had just came to see me, and that his friends were waiting for him outside.
No explanation, nothing, he just, ended it like it was the easiest thing to do, like all that we had didn't matter to him.
I had so many questions, I had so many things that I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know that I wanted us to be together, I wanted us to stay forever, but I couldn't.
He pecked my cheeks, and said that it's time to leave. I touched his forehead with mine , closed my eyes and prayed for him .
And then he wrapped his arms around me as though protecting me, it seemed so perfect.
If I could, I would have freezed the time frame but of course I couldn't. He knew that I don't want him to go.. he knew that I wanted him to stay.. but he left. He knew the power he had over me, and that I'd let him use it against me .
I placed the book mark to the first page of the heavy journal. The journal wasn't heavy as such. What's heavy, was the load, the memories and the past it carried. I couldn't control the tears as I saw the ink running due to my warm tears. I held the journal close to my chest and let my tears free. Maybe it was time to unfold the past and take a peek inside the life of a teenager who was madly and completely in love.
Who do you think is reading the journal?
Obrigado pela leitura!
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