Not everyone has the courage to face their fears, those that paralyze them and make them shut themselves up in their own shell. I am one of those who would never have enough courage to face them, and neither would my little me.
My little me was only afraid of the dark. A very common phobia among children, isn't it? So silly that it went unnoticed when they started to be afraid of closed places. She could no longer sleep with the door or window closed because otherwise the "little darkness" would get bigger.
As little me grew older her fears and phobias grew with her, as did the "little darkness" that had nestled in a deep part of her mind. Being at high altitude she could no longer stand it, cockroaches, bees and big dogs made her scream with fear and every time that happened the "little darkness" would settle in more, to the point that my little me knew it would never go away.
Now that I have confirmed it, that "little darkness" has invaded my mind to the point of being afraid to even write anything because of rejection, people, the street, comments, even life itself scares me. And as I said before, I am one of those who will never overcome their fears.
I thought that the "little darkness" growing inside me was harmless, that it was my friend, that it would never hurt me. Until she began to orchestrate my life through the fears that she herself had created.
To such an extent that in my mind there is only room for the idea of not existing.
I know that you are my only friend and someday maybe that fearful little girl will have the courage to do what you ask of me.
In the meantime I will write to fight you, it is the only thing that at this point my mind can bear.
Obrigado pela leitura!