I sat there on my bed in my cabin, staring at Riptide.
So many died because of me.
I dug the tip of the blade into my skin, welcoming the pain. I smiled a little. I deserved this.
I deserved death. I deserved-
"Percy?" A voice called from the other side of my door. I quickly capped Riptide, bandaged my legs then put jeans on and I answered the door. "Hey Wise Girl." I grinned at Annabeth, my girlfriend(AKA The best person to ever exist besides my Mother.)
"Hi Seaweed brain. Breakfast is ready, didn’t you hear the horn?" She asked, looking up at me with her beautiful grey eyes.
"Nope, but I'll be out in a sec." Annabeth nodded, kissed my cheek, and left.
I looked at my pen(which is Riptide in disguise) took it and stuffed it into my pocket, then I left my cabin.
I stared at Percy, who was sitting alone at the Posiden table. He hasn't even touched his food.
Weird, he always finishes before everyone else.
He seemed nervous for some reason which is strange because he's basically like a dog. A Golden Retriever to be exact, always excited and playful and cute.
Now? He just seems like a different person. It worries me.
He caught my stare, smiled, and waved at me. I grinned and waved back. He's probably tired. I thought to myself.
I wanted someone holding me while I cried into their shoulder, finally being allowed to let everything I've been bottling up out. But I would be too selfish. Everyone here went through worse then me.
I'd be selfish for breaking down. I'm the "Savior" of Olympus. I have to be perfect for my friends. My mother. My father. Everyone.
"Uhm, Mr Percy Jackson? Can- Can we talk?" A new camper stammered. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.
"I'm, uh, a new camper. Eric McAllen, son of Hecate. I heard your really good at keeping secrets and letting others vent to you. Is- Is it okay if I vent?"
I nodded and followed him to the beach. We sat down and he looked at the water, starting to ramble about how hard his life is back at home. I zoned out as he ranted on and on. I still heard every word, I just wasn't paying close attention which made me feel guilty.
I thought about what I went through as a kid.
No, Percy. Stop it. Your "trauma" isn't valid. Eric is crying and your just thinking about a few whip lashes to your back and a smack on the head?
I snapped out of it and looked at Eric, rubbing his back now and comforting him. "Hey man, look at me." I said, he looked at me directly in the eye and all I saw was pain and sadness in his yellow eyes.
"Breathe, okay? Calm down and relax. Your sister, she messed up and-" Eric swatted my hand away and yelled, "Everyone takes her side, it's not fucking fair! She tried to make me go blind!" His eyes were wide with anger. "Eric, your sister is five and autistic. She doesn’t have a good grasp on her powers ye-"
Eric slapped me. Hard.
Memories flooded into my mind.
"I wanted canned beer not bottles you piece of shit!" Gabe yelled, slamming a glass bottle on my head. I cried out in pain.
I was only six years old.
"You better fucking clean this mess." He spat before leaving.
I came back to reality, Eric was still yelling at me. "Useless!" He groaned before walking away. I just stood there, frozen for a moment.
I just made him feel worse then before, why am I like this!?
I sat back down and stared at the water, which was calm and quiet.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to make endless, violent storms to show my anger at the Gods. At Kronos. At myself.
I just wanted to be a kid, is that too much to ask?
"Shut it, Percy. Everyone here went through way worse then you did. Your trauma doesn't matter. It's not even trauma." I muttered to myself, fidgeting with my pen. I uncapped Riptide and without thinking, I slashed my wrists.
"Percy?" I shot my head up, seeing Chiron standing behind me.
I dropped Riptide, he stared at my wrists with a frown.
Chiron left and a few minutes later, he came back with a first aid kit. He sat down beside me, held my arm gently, and began to bandage them.
"You do not need to tell me why. It is not my buisness if you do not want it to be, but please, Percy. Do not do this again. It isn't good." He spoke, looking at me with worry in his eyes.
I was silent for a moment, "I'm sorry, Chiron.." I muttered, letting out a shaky breath.
"You have no reason to apologize to me." He got up, already finished bandaging my arms.
"I will not tell anyone, Percy. But please, do not harm yourself." I nodded slightly and he left.
"What was that about?" Annabeth asked, taking off her enchanted Yankees cap that her mother, Athena, gave her for her birthday.
How much did she see?!.
"I only saw Chiron walk away."
I should tell her.. She's my girlfriend after all.
"I.." I looked down and pat the spot next to me, she sat beside me with a hint of worry in her eyes.
"Are you okay, Percy?" She held my hand and I looked at her, finally letting the tears I've been holding in for so long spill out.
"Chiron, he.. he caught me cutting my wrists." Annabeth stared at me.
"P- Percy.." She stammered, squeezing my hand.
She pulled me into a hug and I just broke down. Pathetically crying as she kissed my head and held me tightly against her.
"Let everything out, Percy. Okay? Nobody is here.. It's just me." She whispered as I cried more.
Percy fell asleep crying against me. Percy's head rested in my lap with my fingers running through his hair as he peacefully slept.
I've never seen Percy cry. Ever. I didn't know he had so much bottled emotion inside of him. But then again.. we have been through a war and lost so many friends and family..
"Annabeth? Why is Percy asleep on the ground?" Grover asked as he walked towards us from "I'm sorry, Grover. I want to tell you but I can't without Percy's permission." Grover made a silent 'Oh' and sat beside me.
"Can I at least know why his face is red and teary?" He quietly asked.
"He got overwhelmed with something. I don't know the full story but I think Chiron does. I saw him walk away from Percy."
Percy stirred and groaned, opening his sea-green eyes and looking up at me. "Well, hello Wise Girl." Percy grinned at me, as if he never had a breakdown an hour ago.
"Hey, Seaweed Brain.." I tried to match his happy energy but couldn't. Not with what I know and don't know.
Gods, I hate not knowing the full story about something.
"Hey Grover! What's up?"
Grover shrugged and fist-bumped Percy with a small smile.
I could tell from the way his smile was a little crooked, he was worried about Percy just as much as me. But he also seems to be hiding some information from me.
"How long was I asleep?" Percy asked, sitting up from my lap. "An hour or two."
"Seriously?" I nodded.
I tossed a golden drachma into the rainbow mist. "Lord Posiden, his palace."
"Hello, Chiron. It has been a while." He smiled at me. I bowed my head. "Yes, it has. But I wanted to update you on Percy."
Posiden raised an eyebrow. "Normally, you send me a letter." "Yes, well.. This is a pressing matter."
"What has happened." His eyes darkened. "Percy has been.. harming himself with Riptide. I caught him earlier at the beach slashing his wrists." I informed.
Posiden's face paled. "Daddy? What does that mean for Percy?" Tyson asked in the background. "Nothing, Tyson. But, uh, thank you for the sword." Posiden smiled as best he could at Tyson.
"Horse!" Tyson grinned at me. "I am a Centaur, Tyson. But hello."
"Hello! Tell brother I said hi!" He excitedly said. I smiled and nodded, "Of course I will, Tyson."
"Bye horsie, bye daddy." Then Tyson left.
Posiden looked back at me, visibly worried. "Are you sure he has?" I nodded, a frown now on my face.
"Discretely check on him every hour or so. I wish I could be there but I cannot. For now, if you would like, I want you to be my eyes and ears for Percy."
"It would be my honor, my lord." Posiden cracked a small smile. "Thank you, Chiron."
I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I haven't read Heros of Olympus or Trials of Apollo yet. So please no spoilers! No hate either. I am still getting better at writing.
I'll take any feedback though! Any POLITE corrections too.
Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night!
Merci pour la lecture!
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