It was late Monday afternoon when I arrived in New York. I never thought a bus ride could become that long. I was just not used to it anymore because since I met you days just rushed by and we weren't able to slow them down.
My eyes felt heavy, from crying or being not able to sleep since you left me.
As soon as I got off the bus I made my way right into the next Pub.
I ordered something strong, maybe Whiskey is what I said to the guy behind the bar. He filled the glass fast while I was watching a group of people preparing for their Gig, somewhere behind all the People, which were slowly filling the Room.
A young Man with a cowboy hat was quite busy getting all cables and wires ready, while I tried to ignore the vibration of my phone, in my pocket. It was Dad, for sure, trying to reach me at least the 20th time. I just couldn't talk to him now.
The Band was already into the third song when I wanted to check my phone for the time. I honestly was too scared to look at it and find more notifications telling me who was trying to reach me.
Another Whiskey and at least two beers later I found myself singing along with the Band's covers of some good country songs. They were good, enjoying the thick air, produced by happy people with alcoholic breath.
For a Monday evening, the Bar was very full, I never went to one during the week, but I couldn't imagine so many people in it. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine just me and the music filling the Air. I was drifting off a little, not caring if people would hear me singing along.
Suddenly I felt your arm around my shoulders and my voice disappeared in the noise of laughs and talks of the surrounding. The next second the feeling of you around was gone. You were gone again.
I was checking my glass but it was empty, so I ordered something strong again. Still drifting at the moment I didn't pay attention to the words of the Bartender. He lightly slammed the glass back on the dark wood right in front of me. It seemed like he was used to weird guys not listening to whatever he had to say.
Just a little later he introduced me to the Band.
I was feeling a little nostalgic looking at the music equipment since I quit all this some time ago. I couldn't remember why, maybe it was because I wanted more time with you. Whatever it was it made me quit completely. Music was always there, my whole life, especially through my parents.
Without a second thought, the guy with the cowboy hat was asking me if I would like to join them for a song or two. There was no reason to say no, even though my heart was nervously beating faster. It shouldn't be like that with that amount of alcohol running through the veins.
I haven't picked up a microphone in a long while, but the feeling was extremely good. As soon as the music started playing I was into it, the lyrics came up easily since they were songs I knew well.
At first, I was ignoring all the faces in the crowd but some songs later I was able to look into some. I caught joy in some eyes.
After long hours of missing you, the time on Stage rushed by, like a train crossing a dead railroad Station.
The Gig was over and grateful I left the Band to sit back down on the Chair I left empty at the Bar. Ordering a last Drink just to wash down the Moment of Joy and calm the Beat of the Music inside of me.
I should feel bad and desperate after losing you. It was my fault you left.
You didn't, there was a face in the crowd that I noticed at first sight.
It was you sitting at the Bar, admiring me and the Band. You were having trouble with the Converse I bought you. They were fitting to your rose cardigan and made you just a little bit taller. My eyes were all over you, even when they were closed. I was feeling you, your warm proud smile, that was filling this Place.
Caught in the feeling I wasn't prepared for what was happening next. There was not a single chance for me to react on time. My head was hitting the chair next to me, and I was falling to the floor.
Two men, dressed like they were ready to join the Men in Black, were fighting. I was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Something wet and warm was running down my forehead, while I was getting up to leave.
On my way out I managed to grab my Backpack, the only thing I took with me when I left Pennsylvania. I couldn't leave it there, it was containing something very important to me. It wasn't even mine, not really, I only paid for it.
I remembered that there was a Hostel near while driving by on the Bus a few hours back. I wasn't sure if they still got some space left for me but I was giving it a try and succeeded.
Some minutes later, under the shower, I realized that it was blood running down my forehead. It was already dry, but in combination with the shampoo, it wasn't fun at all.
A short look up beneath the water in front of me was almost making me slip.
It was you, looking at me and blowing off the water drops from your lips before you lean in for a Kiss. Your hands were running through my hair while you were disappearing again.
I was getting into bed, catching the lights of the Buildings around, through the open window. Right after I was turning around, facing the wall, and fell asleep with your Kiss on my forehead.
Merci pour la lecture!
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