I found you on the beach a year ago
Half-hidden amongst the evening tide and the wet sand
A corner was sticking out as if waving
Or were you also asking for help?
You were cool to the touch
A twisted, pink-white throwaway from the endless ocean.
Night was beginning to fall and it was hard to inspect you properly
A part of me wanted to toss you back into the retreating waves,
But something about you made me hold back and desist.
Beneath the spying stars and the dying day,
You rested innocently in my hand, not demanding anything
And as a token of that messed up week, I took you home.
As I trudged back up the dunes to my car
You remained in my wet hand, a reassuring, yet light weight,
As the moon finally put the sun to sleep,
I placed you on the seat beside me and started the engine.
The drive back to my house wasn't far,
But the silence between us felt companionable and soothing.
You sat on my table as I ate my late supper
Without your having asked, I began to tell you about my dreadful week
It all came pouring out – the disappointment, the distrust,
The reveal, the breakup -
My having seen him that late afternoon with her
And how it had ripped my heart in two at their happiness.
You followed me to my bedroom and settled on my desk
As I finished my long overdue reports, you silently watched me
Your presence reassured me and gave me comfort.
That night for the first time since weeks I could finally sleep
No tossing or turning, no nightmares
Just blissful, badly needed rest.
Over the next couple of weeks and months
You became my confidante,
It became my routine to review my encounters of the day to you.
At first it was strictly facts succinctly stated,
But over time it morphed into being a reflective moment,
Dedicated to pausing and reminding myself of things I could be grateful for.
Not all our talks were humorous or even wildly wondrous,
Some days I was put through hell when he reared his head and again, unexpectedly,
All those memories returned to mock me and the trust I'd misplaced.
But through the tears, the screaming, the wanting to give up and the bitterness,
You silently regarded me and, in your stillness
Spoke countless words of reason, wisdom and healing.
So roughly 365 days later, I'm not quite where I'd like to be,
But so much better than on that dismal day you waved yourself into my life.
You know you could stay forever, but I understand that you need to move on
To give comfort and sense to those despairing or magic a smile onto sad faces.
I'll never forget how you sat beside me through this trying year
And I return you with a smile of deep gratitude to the waves that carried you to me a year ago.
Merci pour la lecture!
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