You keep me busy.
Busy all the time.
My mind races towards you, how disappointed would it be to know there's no way to catch you like that.
There's no way to catch you at all.
By during my continuous long walks, when I try to not lose my path but I definitely feel like strolling through a maze, I keep catching myself thinking of you.
And then I wonder... if my thoughts seem to belong you, are you the owner of my heart as well?
Who else could own it?
Nobody shows up in my dreams as much as you.
And no one has made me smile more in the last few months.
But when I realize you don't feel the same, it hits the breaks on my train of thought.
And my long walks get longer, I walk slower... Pause every step, every mile feels like walking through the end of times.
How can I go home knowing what I now know?
I can't race anymore. I can't feel the adrenaline rushing through my body pushing it forward and making me feel unbeatable, indestructible, loved... The sadness crawls up my legs, my knees, my brain.
It invalidates me. Makes me crumble. Disappear into the darkest alleys of the maze. Pondering what's real if what I felt you might never feel it as well.
Reality slips from my grasp and everything turns black, but then I notice is not dark at all, is just void, blank, absolute.
Were you capable of dissolving my beliefs, my creations, my world... myself with a slight twist of your smile, or the message that never arrived?
How have I given you so much power kind sir?
Was it because of your kindness?
My lack of thought?
Or was stupidity involved?
Whatever the reason... I'm yours.
Merci pour la lecture!