— Beginnings are always overwhelmingly joyful and mysterious, but this chapter of my life is mysteriously dark.
I am not me again. This deep void is killing me every moment. I can't even breathe with it, can't feel I'm alive, feel there is no hope. My heart is shattering every moment. Seeing those broken pieces scattered over the hazy floor, I can't even decide which one to pick up. Instead, I can't decide whether to live or die.
It's bleeding like it has never bled before. In this dark I can't even see the colour of my own blood, I can only scream out of this excruciating pain. This pain does not posses any beauty or strength anymore. I can't bear this pain this time. Screaming inside to meet myself again in this lifetime, though my voice is broken, it's very feeble, no one can hear it.
I feel no moisture of life which will nourish my soul, nothing to restore me back to life. I am becoming very dry from the core of myself, can't feel any pulse of mine. And alive stream of my life has dried up. Reality has never seemed so cruel before, I'm all choked up. I can only feel my vision is getting blurred. From deep within I can't feel anything anymore, every moment begging to release me from this hell of unknown me.
A room full of unheard silence, those survivor screams are tearing my soul, cutting through my flesh, my veins to taste the blood of my soul. My head is burning, those ashes are colouring my dark canvas.
I do not have the strength anymore after all the fights of this life. This time I'm seeking someone to help me out because I can't even stand on my feet, can't move my lips to utter " SAVE ME! I'M DROWNING."
This corner of the room is also shrinking within me. I can't feel my presence anymore. My existence is getting eliminated from this world in front of my eyes, my eyes can't take it anymore.
This dark is suffocating me, this dark is eating me alive. I felt as if life was baiting me. This darkness promised not to listen to me, not to give me another chance, not to let me live.
Inside this prison I have caged myself up. This dark I'm cursing, but this pitch darkness of my cracked, shattered soul is the only companion which I could find. This time it's taking my very essence from me. Raindrops from my eyes are asking one question,
THIS ME IS NOT ME! THEN WHO AM I?
(End of chapter one).
— journey continues in chapter two...
Merci pour la lecture!