What if I say I know a way to immortality? A path where we would live for all eternity. But, is eternity as good as is speculated? For years, the idea of being an eternal being was stucked in my mind, it wouldn't let me rest for even a second. Perhaps, you prefer to call it family trauma since many people in my family died on an extremely close date to my birthday, a plate full for those who believe in coincidences, which made my grandfather believe that I was a curse, that I had the eyes of a snake and the thirst of a reaper. But, every curse has a beginning and we must agree that, if the curse reached my family with my birth, I also suffered from it, without having the power of choice
At first moment, the idea was extremely interesting. Dance under the silver light of eternal moons, feel the excitement of being on the brink of death thousands of times knowing that none of them would really be the end. The feeling of being able to defy life was something that burned in my veins for a long time and made me willing to take the greatest dangers in search of great adventures. Discover worlds that you never thought existed.
Humans creates in their mind a demonized idea of death; not because of the sad idea of a body rotting under a pile of earth or because of the anguish of its relatives, most suffer from fear of the suffering that comes before it, others from fear of a possible unconfirmed hell with organ-eating crows. And although we fear this moment so much, we still fantasize about it. How many times has the thought of death crossed your mind? We spend time and time thinking about forms, pain, when and how it will arrive, we wish it to arrive while we sleep so that we feel nothing but, at the same time that we don't want to feel anything, we spend part of our lives fantasizing about death and trying to feel it in many ways.
We are close to death all the time and many people have a hard time admitting that this idea is extremely exciting. The French call the post-orgasmic period "le petite mort" - the small death, in literal translation - due to the possible total or partial loss of strength and consciousness after the act, and also due to the fact that the body stops breathing while having an orgasm. It is unconscious, but while we are in one of the best feelings in life, we are one step away from death.
After seeing the world with immortal eyes for a long time, death is no longer a fear. It breaks and turns into a night sky full of stars, full of small pieces and your greatest wish is to be able to bring them all together again. It is like navigating an ocean in search of a piece of land, nonexistent, without currents or waves, just navigate, with no finish podium. After a long time sailing, without a single day on land, I decided to tell my exciting journey, the terrible legend of a condemned and misunderstood young woman.
Don't think, my dear reader, that in my words there will be only regret and the bitterness of a misunderstood person or the resentment of a condemned person. After living as many lives as you might think possible, I have enough luggage to take you on a trip worthy of a few minutes of your attention. But, let's go to what really interests us, the beginning of the story: immortality and how I achieved it.
The cycle that was followed by me may not please people who see immortality as one of the best ways to live. We have to understand that everything has a cycle, even when you want to live forever; and that makes me question: do we have this thirst for immortality for the love of life or for fear of death? We can say that, the only certainty we have in life is death puts a certain limit on our heads, as if everything would end when we died and there would be nothing left. This makes us repudiate death with all the strength we have, but, as has already been said, when you have eternity in your hands, death becomes a long-lasting wish, it's to be adrift.
It's having beautiful and strong hands that can't reach anything.
- English isn't my first language, I apologize for any mistakes you may find.
- Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it! And, if you did, please let me know, help me to share the story, leave your comments, feel free to talk with me and give me feedbacks!
- The vampiric characteristic of not being able to walk in the sunlight came with Nosferatu (1922), before that vampires could walk in the sun wild and free. The vampires in this story will walk in the sun wild free!
- There will be many references, quotes, etc. to Bram Stoker's Dracula (1897) and Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla (1872), both of which were my biggest inspirations (in addition to the Type O 'Negative songs). I even recommend the two books and the band, crystals of the Gothic world!
- Special thanks to my father who made me addicted to Dracula and Bram Stoker's books since I was five years old and to my friend Fernando Bovo who gave me the book Carmilla and made me fascinated by lesbian and sexy vampires.
- Thanks to my mom who didn't read the story but LOVES the name Callidora and tells everyone that I write a story that has the beautiful name Callidora.
- Thanks to Kelly who always supports me in everything that is art that I do and sings the songs with me.
- Thanks to Sarah who reads my paranoias and helps me create even more.
- Thanks to those who came from the Wattpad Brasil group due to the facebook post.
- And thanks for you sweetheart that is reading it right now!
Gratitude and see you next time!
Merci pour la lecture!