— Do you have time for lunch? There is something I want to discuss.
Makoto heard, but didn’t process the question. She was still looking at that man's back. That's him, right? He didn’t say anything so she wasn't sure. But if she could make him speak, even just a word...
I need to know.
— I'm sorry, sensei. I need to do something.
She burst through the crowd, apologizing to everyone she bumps into. He was no longer on her sight when she started running, but now she could see his head. He was just walking, wasn’t running away.
Only when the sea of people faded on the streets that she was able to get closer and closer. Her heart was hurting, her lungs burning and her legs almost giving up when her hands found his wrist.
Majima wasn’t expecting a touch, let it alone her touch. His breath speeded up, panicking like he did early. What the fuck is she doing?
— Is you... Isn't? — Her breath was heavy for the run.
Majima knew he couldn’t say a thing, she would notice. He didn’t want her to notice. Makoto deserves a normal life, she already had a job and friends and even some asshole who like her and could take her away from him. After everything she passed, he couldn’t drag her again to this shit show.
— Please, say something! — There were tears in her eyes. Makoto was looking at his face, scouting his surprised eye. The truth was there, but why he wasn’t saying anything?!
Dammit. Don’t make me do this...
His heart clenched with the sight.
Majima snap his hand off her grasp, putting a face he knew was fake and a voice she wouldn’t recognize.
— What the fuck are ya saiyin', lady? — His high pitch voice mocked her with a smirk. — Why in the hell would I know who are ya? Now, shoo shoo, get the fuck out of my sight.
His words hurt him more than her. She was crying, but he wanted to be dead right on the spot.
— Keh, ya embarrassin' yaself, lady. Go home.
As he turned, before he could do something, Makoto jumped her hands on his face and pulled him down, pressing his lips together. It was less than a second, Majima was able to grasp her wrist and push her away.
Majima was astonished. The girl has balls to do this in the middle the day, on the streets and with him.
— Are ya insane, Makoto? — He wisped, his voice deep and serious.
— I knew it! — She tried to hug him, but his grasp was firm, keeping her away. — Why didn’t you say anything?
— Ssh, shut up, shut up! — He looked around. There were some outsiders looking and even some of his men. Fuck.
He dragged her deeper into the alley close by, tossed her into the shadow so no one would see them.
— What the fuck do ya think ya doin'? — He was no longer holding her.
Makoto was still crying. An ugly cry. She was wiping her tears with hands. Her legs gave up and she didn’t even mind.
— I was... — She was sobbing. — I was... Looking... For... You... — One of her hands grabbed his pants. — Everyday... I...
Majima clenched his fists. He made amends with himself for days, he thought he could let her go away... It hurt so bad seen that someone already had the hots for her. He gave her up not even ten minutes ago, and regretted the second he walk away. But he can't do this to her, she got away from this world. And he had already made a decision, he couldn’t just betray his words.
— Listen, Makoto. — He kneeled, taking her hand off him.
— No! You listen! — She took a deep breath to stop the sobbing. — I-I've been looking f-for you this whole time! You don’t know h-how much I wanted to see your face, to remember who you are! Y-You don’t know how frustrating it is to-to-to...
Makoto didn’t know how to finish her thoughts, so she just concentrated on wiping her tears and try to stop crying.
From this angle he could smell her perfume. This was so unfair.
— Stop it. — He said, his voice a demand. Keeping a safe emotional distance. — Ya didn’t need to know who I am. — He could feel his eye warm, but he wasn’t about to cry. — Y-
— You're tattooed.
She was looking through his open jacket, her breath almost normal. Her hands slipped through it and touched the snake on his chest.
— It's beautiful.
Her finger was wet with tears. And just like that his emotional distance fade.
— See, ya cant do this. — He took her hands off him again. His heart was beating so hard against his chest that he could hear the blood in his ears.
Makoto wiped the last of her tears, already calmer.
— Are you a Yakuza, right? That’s why you don’t want me. — She hugged her knees, cleaning her hands on her skirt. — I was thinking about this. How many women were with you every night. You guys can always have any women you want-
— Wait right there, ya think I don’t wantya? — He spoke without thinking. — Makoto, I-
— So you admit you like me? — She looked up, her eyes shining.
— Shut up and listen, ok? — Majima took one of her hands and squeezed between his. — Dammit, Makoto, I cant do this. — He lowered his head until her hand touched his forehead. — I cant hav'ya in this world again, I can never forgive myself if drag ya into this mess again. — As he asked, she was listening. — I just asked to that asshole of yers to take care of ya. Ya know how hard it was to give ya up?
— Can I decide that for my self?
— No! No ya cant! — He didn’t look up, just squeezed her hand harder, both knees on the ground, begging so many unspoken things. — Ya got shot the last time ya made a stupid decision!
— This isn’t a stupid decision. — She touched his hair. — You really think I don’t regret that night? It pains me to this day how much I put you through. I'm sorry. I can only imagine how much it hurted you. I wouldn’t know what to do if you got shot.
— Them ya know I cant hav’ya. — Every time her fingers reached the base of his head, a chill would go down his spine.
— You are not going to die on me. You are too strong for that. — She laughed. Her hand was still stroking his head. — Thank you, for going against the Dojima family. I've never got the chance to thank you properly.
It looked like she finished. They stayed in silence for almost a minute, only her hand working on his hair and his hand squeezing her fingers.
I need to leave... If I stay here one more second I-
— Makoto, ya can't go looking for me anymore, ok? — Majima tried to take that emotional distance again, but was still holding her hand, eye close as he pressed her fingers in the middle of his eyebrows. — Let me play the selfless hero and pretend I letya go with pride.
She untangled her hand and put both on the sides of his face, making him look at her.
— No. — She was dead serious. — I don't care about your world or what you do. I asked you to kill for me, remember? I don’t want you to be selfless, and I don’t want you to let me go. You don’t need to mind about looking like a hero, you already are. You are my hero. You save me even when I didn’t deserve. — She was so glad that she was able to see his eye soften.
He was too far gone at this point. His mind was begging for him to let go, to run away and let her live a safe life, but nothing could take him away from those eyes.
— I want you to be selfish. To take me away, to say that I am yours and yours alone. I don’t want you to give up, I want you to fight for me, like you have been doing. — He was tense under her gazing. — I want to hear it again, you say that you will always stay by side, that you will always protect me. I want to hear you say that I am yours with the same vigor you said I was your mark.
— Ya remember that? — He smiled. He curled on her hands, melting with that warm.
— I want to hear you say you love me.
His eye widened.
— Because I love you.
Her gaze became too heavy to bear it, so he closed his eye. His hands took hers and pressed his lips on her palm. He stayed like that for a few seconds, overwhelm with emotions. Her words took him to a point of no return, making unbearable not to say.
— I lov'ya. — It was less than a whisper, almost just his lips moving under her palm accompany by a single tear.
Makoto pulled him for a hug, putting his head on her shoulder and began to stroke his hair again. Majima grasped her back like it was the air for someone drowning.
— I lov’ya.— He said again against her neck and snuggle on her.
— So are you going to accept me?
He let out a bitter laugh.
— That’s somethin’ I should be askin'ya. — If he spoke louder than that his voice would crack.
— I already did.
His hug got tighter. He was glad that he was wearing that jacket, he could feel her warm directly on his skin.
— Can you tell me a little thing so I can ask you something properly.
— Yes. — The answer was quick.
— Your name.
— Goro... Majima.
— Ah... Goro Majima...
He never thought his name could sound like that.
— Would you please kiss me.
Merci pour la lecture!
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