What Happened?

As I recall the issues of my weight started again in 2015. I went home after boot camp and I ate so much food for hearing disturbing news, tramatized in dispair. I spoke to no one of what I did by taking one trip to the grocery store. As I sat and ate, I lost sight of my weight and I developed an eating disorder(without being diagnosed proffessonally). I was asked by my recruter if I had gained weight I immediately said no.

Not only did I lie about my weight gain, as I started military combat training I had to be weighed. It turns out that I developed a belly during my over eating. I didn't weigh myself before, and now that I look back I feel like as if I blackout and forgot that I was a marine. I lost my concentration on my new job and the weight requirement. Looking at it from my perspective now as though it definately played a part in me having to work harder. I had to lose the weight again, but this time I started from 160Ibs.

I continued my training, as I entered into my first duty station maybe a few months in I was being promoted and I had to weigh in. By this time of weighing in I had lost the 10Ibs, it wasn't as joyous as the first time I shed the one day weight. I once again acheived my ideal weight or should I say one day weight. My thought process was way ahead of itself I wanted to become a drill instructor and then work my way up into a sgt major. My experience was entry level, I was discouraged but I had faith, I was hopeful.

From May moving foward to December is where things completely got out of control. Whats happening is my command is on its way to train for a deployment, hence I wasn't even going on the deployment. the leadership in my shop didn't even have a plan for me or what I was supposed to do. I was told I was going to be gate guard but then it turns out my Temporary duty station was going to base operations where the communication with the pilots. It was so bad, I remember working out and doing things that seemed impossible but I was doing well.

I was told don't be late, I was getting scolded. I always felt weiged down working with this command, it was people who went out of their way to hurt me. One morning as I'm getting on the attachment to the truck I quickly thought oh I forgot to tell them I'm getting off at the gate. I figured they have to stop at the gate, then I'll get off at base operations which is right across the street. That idea failed, I ended up falling on my back and I had backpack on I can say it saved my back a lot of pain.

It never stopped, it just kept going. I never seen the faces of the two people who were driving the truck. I was told I thought you died, or why did you jump. Instead of lets get her to the main hospital in camp pendleton where she can be admitted until she sees an orthopedic. Instead it was crutching around on the sand.

I went to the hospital there but they didn't even give me a diagnosis just an X-ray of my previous hardware from my first surgery. They just seen the scars and the brusing they had no idea what was really going on internally. There was no mental health evaluation or MRI. It happened so fast, as though it was really a traumatic storm I was in and it almost killed me. A one day weight having to overcome.