she wasn’t ready for the real world. Honestly i don’t think anyone is. It’s a horrible place with horrible fucking people. Depending on one person to make you happy is hard. Having family that yells at you is hard. School is hard. Life is genuinely hard. I’m not very sure why i’m here but i think my life is difficult right now.
I just want to sleep. I hate school and every single person there. I hate the way they talk about me. Look at me. Speak to me. Spread my name around the school. The way they laugh when my insecurity is brought up. I hate them. It’s not like i can do anything about it. I sit at my desk away from everyone so i don’t have to deal with the bull shit.
Not eating lunch for the past 3 weeks is cool. It’s my problem but thanks for not checking in on me like i checked in on you. Thanks for not being thoughtful like i was to you. Thanks for not being understanding like i was to you. It hurts but there’s nothing to do but suck it up.
Nothing is majorly wrong in my family. All i do is do bad at school and get yelled at. I’m joking i get yelled at about everything. The way i dress. The way i walk. The way i look. The people i hangout with. The things i say. My actions. The way i play in sports. The way i come home and sleep so i don’t have to hear anyone talk.
Life is useless. Who needs to be here when it’s just hell. Like honestly when no one is there why should i be there. I’m pointless. I’m useless. I’m irrelevant. i’m dumb. i’m annoying. I’m a waste of space when there could be better.
I’m dramatic aren’t i. I’m just pushing it aside not telling people. Why should i. I am a pick me if i do. I seem like an attention seeker. It’s ok no one needs to know. They don’t care anyways.
Go get help ?
no it doesn’t help. I can’t tell people i trust.
Trust no one. I learned that friends don’t last. One thing that gets told will never stay in. It gives the school something to talk about. Share the secret. Why would i care. My name is already out enough. I sit there acting as if i didn’t hear what they said. I ignore and sleep. That’s what i’m meant to do so i do.
10 Mai 2022 02:42:22
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