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Hope
“Dear Little Girl”, is my taking a deeper look into forgiveness and openly reflecting on my childhood traumas. What would I say to her if I could go back in time?
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#dearlittlegirl #littlegirl #abuse #Trauma #Forgiveness #Vulnerability #Hope
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Dear Little Girl

Oh how late spring use to feel in the moments before life got hard for you.

Oh how the black berrys felt as you squashed them between your fingers, staining your hands.

Oh the smile that crossed your face when you got a really sweet, perfect one, and popped it right between your teeth for a bite.


Briars cutting into your arms and legs, making your way to your clubhouse, wondering what baked goods you were going to pretend to sell with your plastic pink cash register in one hand and your babydoll in the other.


Sometimes it's hard to search and find those good memories. Everything after them are like a blurred.. terrible..lifetime movie marathon

..or something crazy and dramatic like that.


My step cousin, a nameless boy, was the first snake to slither his way into my safe spaces. He was older than me by a few years, not much. He would always stay at my grandmas when I would be made to stay there. Thinking back now, I questioned how he knew about those things. How he knew to use force to get what he wanted. To trap me, throw me down in a bathtub, and shove his tongue in my mouth and make me touch him. He was a kid..Maybe 9? It didn't make sense.


Later in life, I learned that he was being molested as a child and I of course didn't know that when I was 5-6 years old. It didn't make it better for me. I still had all of this scarring and to me, that's where it started. With that boy who thought maybe that was what he was suppose to do at the time.


Though understanding it doesn't make it okay

..I forgive you, nameless boy.


I hope the little boy inside of you grew to find peace and understanding..joy, love, and respect..just as the little girl in me has been fighting to do.


Little girl, if I could whisper to you today, I would tell you that so much is said through the actions of others. Sometimes we can't understand and sometimes we aren't meant to. What happened wasn't okay. Not for you and not for the little boy who did those things. It's the beginning of a long road, but you will rise. Stay strong.


I love you.

31 Octobre 2021 20:36:35 0 Rapport Incorporer 0

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