Is 50 the New 30?!? I'm going to have to say.... Seguir blog

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Amelia Gomez
When you are born a twin, grow up with 8 siblings, have kids too young, and leave a path of failed marriages in your tracks, you do what anyone would do when they are turning 50... You move to a town where you know no-one, and spend most of your time alone while you remodel your mini-home. Throw in a pandemic or two and viola! You are bound to get to know yourself again... Right?! 0 reseñas
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#loveyourself #lifeover50
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Are We There Yet?

Hi! I'm Amelia! I am a 50+ year old mom of 5 girls and 2 boys (all of them grown, and all but one of them living at least 20 hours away from me by car). I have 8 grandsons and 2 grand daughters that I could possibly love more than my own kids (we will get to that later). And right now, I am living in Texas where I pretty much know no-one because I thought the time here would help me find myself again after spending the majority of my life living for everyone else.

I'm sure you must have guessed by now that I was a very young mother. I am 2 months shy of 51 and my oldest daughter just turned 35. I am not proud of this by any means, but I am proud to report that I didn't shy away from it. When I knew, at age 15, that I was going to have a baby, I grabbed my big girl panties and pulled those suckers up (I know what you're thinking, and no that is not why, ha get your mind out of the gutter!)! I made the decision then that I would live my life again when I reached 40-something, but for the next plenty of years, I would give everything I had to raising this little girl. And then came another, and another, and, well you get the drift. (7 kids, 10 grandkids, more than enough failed marriages.... keep up now).

As you can imagine, this made my parents so proud (shakes head). I know my parents love me, and I know they love my kids (I'm sure more than me, but again, we will get to that later). They have been married 63 years, had 10 kids, and if I counted up all of the grands and great grands I would reach well over 100 offspring. Their tree is full and they continue to find a way to make each one of us feel like we are the special one.

This is where my dilemma comes in. I am a 6x divorcee that is floundering to find myself, and feeling as if I am further away from this discovery than I have ever been. I can't even blame my parents for my lack of commitment because the example they have lived says the complete opposite. If anything, I guess I can say they set me up to expect a perfect marriage, to the perfect someone who has the same goals and aspirations as I do. That alone was the biggest let down. I have concluded that there would never be a man as good as my dad so I have slowed in continuing the search. I'm at the point of choosing to have relationships with good looks and a good time, and then suffering through the breakup later. Probably not the best idea. My kids definitely don't understand it. In my reality, I don't really understand it. But I am winging it, and I will find myself in the process... I think.

21 de Julio de 2021 a las 12:10 0 Reporte Insertar 0
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