Have you ever heard about love at only sight? I am not really sure if it's an actual concept, but it's just when you fall in love with someone that you don't get to see ever again. Is that even possible? I mean, how can we measure love in time? Anyway, this is Marlene's love at only sight story. Just, please, don't hope for a happy ending, okay? I am warning you.
It all started with a friend request on facebook. Yeah, that simple and vintage. You know those times when someone who had some friends in common with you sent you a request and you were just like "Okay, this seems like a nice person, I'll accept them"? Well, that's exactly what happened here. When Livie sent Marlene that friend request, she had absolutely no idea who she was. All she can remember is seeing her profile picture and thinking "Wow". After that, everything happened in a rush. Livie liked some of Marlene's selfies, Marlene did the same with hers and so on. And one day, out of nowhere, Marlene got a new message in her chat.
- "If you liked Bowie then you would be just perfect".
Marlene's heart was pounding in her chest and confusion was all around. First of all, because at that time she had just come out with her friends and accepted her sexual orientation herself. Second of all, because she couldn't have possibly imagined that this girl could share her sexual orientation, too, she still had the tendency of assuming everyone’s heterosexuality. Third of all, she couldn’t believe this gorgeous girl could like someone like her. So, when she had to answer that message she just had no idea what to do.
- " Hey, I like Bowie! Not enough for uploading things tho, but I can't be that perfect, you see." She tried to seem cool, but inside she was just shaking. This was the first time she ever talked to a girl like this.
Livie laughed and they started talking normally, as if they had known each other for years. Days went by and they found each other talking at all times, laughing, and sharing their everyday stuff. It all seemed so.. simple. So good and nice. What could possibly go wrong?
They started making plans to meet, finally. Marlene was extremely nervous, what if Livie met her and just got bored? Or if she didn't like Marlene face to face? Or if she just ruin everything by saying something stupid? The thing was, they lived pretty far apart so, meeting needed a lot of planning, taking into account the travel time, their jobs and college classes.
At the end, Livie invited her to her place on a Wednesday night. Marlene was doubting more and more, freaking out, but she accepted. She got out from work that day and travelled exactly three and a half hours to get there: two buses and two trains after she found Livie standing there, waiting for her.
She was really tiny, more than Marlene thought, but that was a good thing, it made her even cuter somehow. She had her wavy brunette hair a little bit over her shoulders with wispy bangs, a skirt with a Scottish pattern and a white top. Marlene doubted she had ever seen a prettier girl. Besides, she was right there, looking for Marlene all over the place. That beautiful girl was waiting and looking for her. Unbelievable. Finally, their eyes met. Marlene waved at her and they both started smiling widely. And, without taking pictures into account, there it was: this was their first sight.
- "Hey you" Livie said softly when Marlene got next to her.
- "Hey" Marlene whispered, shily. They kissed each other on the cheek and started walking towards Livie's house, a little more nervous than they expected.
Marlene started worrying again about being so far away from home, in the house of a complete stranger. Of course all of her friends knew exactly where the place was, and she would keep in touch with them from time to time to tell them if everything was okay. However, Marlene's worries started to vanish once they arrived.
It was a lovely and cozy house, there were some chips on the living room's table and some mess over the kitchen. From what Marlene could see from the front door, Livie had been cooking for her. She felt a little guilty about worrying before, so she just tried to relax and show that girl over there how comfortable and grateful she was.
- "It's my mom's house, actually" Livie said. "She is out on a business trip so I have the house for myself for today. I know you are far from home and, of course, mm" She started to doubt and get nervous, Marlene noticed. "You can stay here. I mean, you can spend the night here."
- "Oh, yeah, that would be great". Marlene answered, a little bit surprised because she had already assumed she was staying. Travelling over three more hours back home seemed quite insane.
- "I don't want you to feel any pressure, tho". Livie added, almost instantly. She was looking at her fingers and moving her hands nervously. "We can just sleep, you know".
Marlene only smiled and sat on a chair next to the kitchen. She didn't know quite well what to say, as she hadn't really thought about that until now. I mean, it was stupid not to think about that. This beautiful woman, who had already told her she was openly bisexual, had invited her over to her house, where the two of them would be alone... She didn't quite know if she was ready for that. She had done it before, but not with a girl. So, she was scared. Terrified, actually. What if she had no idea what to do? What if she was awful and Livie didn't want to see her anymore? All in all, the fact that Livie took the time to reassure her by telling her that there was no pressure at all was more than comforting.
They started drinking some wine, which was perfect to break the ice a little bit, while Livie continued cooking and Marlene helped her with some stuff in the kitchen. After putting the meal in the oven Livie got closer to Marlene and whispered "You are so beautiful". Marlene immediately blushed and looked down, thinking that was not true. "May I..?" Livie continued, raising a hand towards Marlene's cheek. "May I kiss you?'' Marlene just nodded, there was not much she could say to that.
And then it happened. Her first kiss with a girl. It was much more beautiful than she could ever expect. Her lips were so soft and kinda fluffy, and the way they moved was so calm and sweet. It felt like they were both dancing a vals right there: every step at the right time, everything so coordinated and working beautifully. They got appart when the oven’s alarm went off, and they just smiled at each other.
After that the night went on easier, mostly for Marlene who was starting to lose the tightness of fear. They ate on the couch and watched some music videos, and when they ended having dinner Livie started to move her fingers all across Marlene's back, making her feel some exciting tickling. After a while, they went outside to the hot summer night with some beers. The sky was full of stars and there was not even one cloud in their sight. Also, there was this cool breeze that helped put the high temperatures down and let them be outside without an air conditioner.
- "This is my first time, you know" Marlene said. Livie opened her eyes widely, clearly in surprise. Marlene was afraid this would scare her away, as if it was a great responsibility now.
- "I am flattered that you chose me as your first, then" Livie answered and grabbed her hand. "I'll make my best to give you a great impression".
They kept talking, and talking. About their likes, about their families, their problems coming out and recognizing themselves as bisexual women. It was so easy to talk to her, Marlene thought. She could really get used to that. And after what seemed like five minutes, it was almost two in the morning, and they had to work the next day, so they decided to go to bed. When they got up they were both pretty near to each other, and Marlene got closer so that she could put Livie's hair back her ear.
- "I am pretty short, as you can see" Livie said, shily and laughing a little bit, looking at the height difference between them and then at her high heels shoes.
Marlene laughed and, in a very corny way, whispered "I think it's pretty perfect for me". They both laughed and kissed each other for a while, with more intensity now, as feeling the need to be close now that some of the hours they had together had already gone away. Then, Livie got appart and grabbed her hand as she took her to the bedroom.
- "No pressure, remember. I didn't invite you over for that" Livie said. Marlene believed her, nodded and they both put on their pijamas to go to bed.
They laid there for a while, cuddling, hugging each other. However, Marlene felt that this couldn't possibly be enough. She felt this electricity and tension in the air. What was she doubting about? She clearly liked this girl, this girl liked her, and they worked well together. Maybe out of that rush of security, or all the booze they had been taking, Marlene grabbed Livie's face and started kissing her, softly at first and increased the intensity then. When Marlene bit Livie's lip the other girl grunted a little, and Marlene could see that she was really restricting herself to leave her lead and not pressure her.
- "I want to" Marlene said. "I really want to".
- "Are you sure?" Livie asked, a little worried. "Don't do it for me, I.."
- "I want you, Liv. I could never forgive myself if I lost this opportunity with you". And that was all it took. Livie grabbed Marlene's face rapidly, and started kissing her fiercely. Somehow, no matter how rude they were there was still this softness in their kisses, in their touches.
They slowly started taking off their clothes, and just when Marlene thought it couldn't possibly get better than that, it did. Livie started touching her in all the right places, as if she had known her forever. Marlene started moaning but didn't want it to be over, so she just took Livie by the waist and threw her over the bed. It was her time now.
Without a clue about what she was supposed to do, Marlene just got along with what her instincts told her and started kissing Livie all over her body, biting her softly in specific spots, which, by the way Livie reacted, were exactly the right ones. She kept kissing and touching her, until Livie got exactly where she wanted to. The girl opened her eyes after a while and said "Are you sure this was your first time?". They both laughed, Marlene looked up, grinning like a devil, and bit her lip. Livie went insane with that, and made all sorts of stuff to get Marlene exactly where she had gotten a while ago.
They relaxed for a while, but every now and then the tension and the electricity got back in such a sudden and strong way that they couldn't possibly ignore it. So they did it again. And again. And again. Until finally, a little ray of light came from the window and they decided that they needed, at least, an hour of sleep. And so they did, not stopping hugging.
When they woke up, they were both smiling and happy. That was the word. Marlene had never felt that happy before, less of all with someone she had only seen once. However, after a while of laying in bed, talking and grabbing their hands, the air became more dense. They could both feel it. The day was coming to an end, and they had to go back to their normal lives now.
It wasn't a definitive goodbye, they knew that. I mean, they could do this again, if Livie's mom ever got away again. Or maybe one of them could move out from their parent's house and they could have intimacy there. They could meet somewhere halfway and make it work, yes, they could make it work. Somehow, it all felt like a lie when Marlene thought about it, and she could see exactly the same thoughts in Livie's eyes.
They got all nervous again, like the first moment they met. None of them had quite much to say as they walked to the train station together.
- "We'll see each other again, right?" Livie asked after a while, just when the train was arriving.
- "I really hope we do" Marlene answered, kind of also saying it to herself.
They kissed goodbye and hugged for a minute before Marlene got on the train to go to work. They looked at each other and smiled through the train's window until it got away.
Days went by and they kept talking everyday. Sometimes some of them made plans to meet, but always something happened that interfered with that. Marlene spent a couple of nights crying, missing her, and feeling stupid for falling in love with a girl she just met. And, because of how Livie talked to her, she really hoped she also felt like that. Not because she wanted Livie to suffer, of course not. But the thought of her feeling the same, it made it all real. As real as it was for Marlene. As real as it is for her nowadays, almost five years later.
After some weeks, they started to talk less frequently, and plans were not on the table so much. They knew it was over before it started, and Marlene cursed everytime she remembered that.
As you can see, not all love stories have happy endings. Also, not all of them last a lifetime. However, who are we to judge what is or isn't love? Was it a summer fling? Was it just a hookup? Whatever. Marlene keeps calling it Love at only sight, so, let's just keep it that way, shall we?
Lily Bowery
