Look, I know what it is to feel lost. Since before I graduated from college, when I was 20 years old, this feeling started to emerge in me, and it continues to this day. The only difference from my 20s to my current years is that I'm learning and understanding things I didn't understand before.
It was as if I was in the middle of a hurricane, totally stunned and without any sense of the whole thing; today, it's as if I'm in the middle of the chaos of the hurricane, sometimes stunned, but with eyes that now distinguish where it begins and ends...
It's normal to feel this way, our generation ended up in heavy economic crises, and even though we study spirituality, we can't just think: "If I'm a Spirit, things on Earth shouldn't affect me in this way, that would be too materialistic", because, like it or not, we are on Earth where the system is like this and we have to (and can!) adapt.
One of the first things people ask us is: what do you want to be when you grow up; and we automatically answer a profession. It's crazy! As if the fact that I work in something makes me who I am, when in fact it should be the other way around. Being who I am should transform what I do!
A writer, whose name I can't remember now, once wrote that a noun (a profession) could never describe who he was, because his nature (human and spiritual) was that of a verb. But this is not what we are taught. We are told that "if we are nothing in life, in the sense of having a profession or a significant position, our life is worth nothing and we are wasting our time. And it's this kind of thinking that sits on our shoulders whispering in our ears all our lives (often without us realizing it).
Until last year I was just another product of that thinking.
When I realize that the feeling of doom begins to grow inside (most of the time this feeling comes from the psychic atmosphere around us, which we open the door to and invite in), I force myself to translate spiritual texts, or just write something nice. This work, although not a profession, is my lifeboat (it saves both my life and the lives of others around the world who may read these texts and change their mental and emotional patterns).
Have you read Viktor Frankl's book? There is a passage of his that I like very much and I will copy it for you.
"In particular, I think of the mass of people who are today unemployed. Fifty years ago, I published a study devoted to a specific type of depression I had diagnosed in cases of young patients suffering from what I called unemployment neurosis. And I could show this neurosis really originated in twofold erroneous identification: being jobless was equated with being useless, and being useless was equated with having a meaningless life. Consequently, whenever I succeeded in persuading the patients to volunteer in youth organizations, adult education, public libraries and the like — in other words, as soon as they could fill their abundant free time with some sort of unpaid but meaningful activity — their depression disappeared although their economic situation had not changed and their hunger was the same. The truth is that man does not live by welfare alone. "
That book is pretty interesting...you should check it out later.
I know I'm talking a lot just about unemployment and such, and I don't know exactly why I'm writing all this. But the words just came out "by themselves".
The truth is, whether we have a job or not, the feeling of "being lost" assails us at times throughout life. That's part of it. What we can't do is let it get us down. We can even dig a little hole and stay there for a while, feeling like victims of circumstances and not accepting the helping hands that appear along the way (let's face it, it's easier to play the role of a victim of life than its hero; being a hero requires courage, and we are usually cowards when obstacles appear).
And one thing is certain: we don't control anything! Or rather, we control only 3 little things:
1 - what we think;
2 - what we feel;
3 - what we do with what we think and feel.
Everything else is uncontrollable, because it's out of our reach. What we reach is what we have inside of us. And if what we have inside is all dirty and messy, things get a lot more complicated, because we end up losing control of the only things possible to be controlled by us.
I'm far from being the best person to give advice to anyone. The little I can do is to show the few things I have learned during the last few years...
The best way I have to find myself when I'm lost is to limit myself to doing little things: watering a plant and noticing the beautiful colors of the leaves and flowers; looking at the clouds and seeing them swimming in the wind; making some food I like and smelling every spice used; reading a book and falling in love with a sentence that suddenly brings new meaning to some situation I lived through in the past; listening to a song and connecting myself with the vibrations of the instruments (believe me that's possible and it's one of the best feelings! hahaha)...
Little things that we don't realize, because we are immersed in this heavy world (literally and metaphorically). Little things that are divine in their essence, but that we ignore, because we prefer to stay in that little hole we dig, because we prefer to be blown away by the winds of the hurricane. We don't control the winds, but we are able to move away when something bad comes to hit us.
Thank you for reading!
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