It was a beautiful morning and sunlight shines through all my way. I walk on the coast as it was the day I want to feel comfortable after I am longing my life in what I've seen I am not achieving the best.
I didn't create the perfect ways for myself. After my class 10, I was glad that I've finally graduated from my studies alone. I live alone without my parents who must guide me. My grandmother died whom she was my light.
The moment it was my graduation from class 10, I was sad. We had a graduation ceremony at that moment. The parents of my classmates were busy hanging garland in their neck, etc and I am Glimpsing those adorable parents make me happy.
Months later passed. I got a sibling who visited me as I lived in the province. She threw all my clothes in the community and dispersed them throughout pieces by pieces I picked them up. She was furious with this gossip about I got a boyfriend. She should ask me but it didn't happen. I was hurt and ashamed. It's an unforgettable experience that she belittled me in front of our neighbors.
People stared at me and I will feel awful because I can't do the things that are others have been doing. Through all the way, I was back and forth. I realized that life is not easy to deal with if you let your weakness flaw shatters in a whim.
Sometimes we overlay our thoughts for some reason that every step we are in exists, right?. We don't feel the necessity of our lives until we are not drowning the probabilities that broke us into pieces. My tears drifted apart all over again. I can't find the way where I want to begin the best in me. The weeks passed, I suddenly decided to left the place where I lived. I went farther away from the aisle of weakness and stress.
I met new people and make friendship a few of them. I started to find a job. It was just me alone over every corner. I convinced myself that I have to be firmly in what I believe. "Life is fragile as mirrors and has to take care of it." I make decisions on my own. As I grew up with a shattered, broken family, and toast in every situation. I never drag the time to make myself feel like I was behind yet I look forward to the best that others can accomplish why not me? All the haste that passed in me was like a dark wind that trying to tie and pull back myself to the end. You can't even notice that my tears drift but still, people see me around a cheerful one. I am Friendly, bold in mind, and know to appreciate every tiny blessing that I achieved. I do not have a lot of ambitions in life except to love and be respected.
I never missed visiting the church and I spent my time there. I sat outside after the mass and observed the happy family that held their hands together. To see how happy they are. I console my heart to feel that happiness in me and I am smiling silently too.
Until all the year soars different tints and each time of the month passes by. I always thought about how beautiful being alone and silent from anyone. But all the aches inside me that tore and ripped me. It is difficult to find the exact road to the trip. I don't know how I am still blissful no matter what. I am alive and healthy.
Though all the life I lived in. I do not have a peaceful mind. Because I do not feel this from the people around me. All the spins in life still have the thorns. I am living but still inside has the barrages. I don't know where would I go. My body starts shrinking and deflated. I can't find the best healer except to trust in God our Almighty.
This all clinch in my life because even though I have my own family I created, none of them is happy with me. I am silent and always give away to understand them. Though inside me is broken down through the way. I live in a normal time as people see I am okay. I am fine, I don't have a problem, and do the chores for them.
How do you understand the person? if you can't find a hint of how great is herself daily? Not every of the family members sees your sadness and comfort you. Not every of the family members sees your feelings how dark it will be. Life doesn't object to all the actions you show each length.
The patience you invested, the skills of being loyal and whipped all the sorts of things just to make everyone is all together with each other. The love you want, the time you want, is all are just thoughts to the whim of a shadow. Everyone has different thoughts, beliefs, and views of themselves. All the recklessness is what creates me I am still the worst.
Thank you for reading. I am sharing my clinches. The true feelings of my confusion. The feelings that I don't understand. I am helpless yet I want to help.
May 11, 2021, 12:40 p.m.