He was sitting there on the sidewalk, with nothing to do, nothing to say, and thinking of nothing. With a cigarette in hand. (He didn't know how much the smoke bothered her) And she was there, inches from me. Someone approached her saying that I sent her regards, and that I liked her. But I had not seen her yet, had not even noticed her presence, and hearing what they told her, I denied it, claiming that I did not know her. Of course, she rejected me, as usual.
—"Who is that dude?" —she asked.
—Don't believe it. I did not say anything. —I replied sadly.
She just smiled, and left. But as she passed by me, ignoring me and looking away from her, I caught a faint scent that made me sigh. I watched her face. It was the prettiest face I had ever seen! And something inside me made me feel a different sensation, something I hadn't felt before. Hardly had she left, when suddenly, I began to feel a great desire to see her one more time. My eyes claimed to have her in front of me, simply to admire her. My nose wanted to perceive again the rich aroma that emanated from her skin. I thought about following her, but other than that I didn't see where she went. I didn't think I was capable of doing it, and less of knowing what to say to him. He would surely make a fool of himself. As usual!
He didn't know his name, he didn't know where he came from, he didn't know if he lived nearby. Much less did she know if she would soon be back. She didn't even have a name for that beautiful face she had just met. So I set out to find out as much as possible about her life. But I discovered very little, or almost nothing. Just his name. Well, apparently, none of my friends knew her very well, only by sight.
Alba! That was her name. It was the only thing I could find out. It was a cute and different name. Name that she had not heard in any other person. Now, he didn't just know a beautiful woman. She now she knew a beautiful face, with a beautiful name. That she was beginning to provoke my feelings. I didn't know why, but I spent several days thinking about her a lot, with a great desire to see her again. I was looking forward to seeing her arrive at that place, so I could get a little closer. But she didn't come back, and nobody told me anything that would help me know where I could find her. Also, I didn't dare to ask too much, because my shyness always held me back in this kind of situation.
Some days after. When the mood was already fading, when I began to believe that I was just passing through that day.
One day, like many others. There I was, sitting in that same place. Smoking, as always. It was a humid afternoon, in which the sun rose just after it had rained. Giving a clean and cheerful look to the whole site, with the brightness of the stagnant water along the street.
Suddenly, and unexpectedly. I saw her coming in the distance. With all that beauty that characterized her, with that sympathy of hers. All of her, being bathed by the sun, which caressed her from the front, and gave her all her light. With the beautiful glimpses of her reflecting off the water, she was still running down the street. She, with her disdainful walk, knowing herself beautiful, and observed by the young people who passed by the place. When she arrived, she gave me one of the best memories of those my seventeen years. Image so cute, that she makes me smile every time she crosses my mind. She walked past me without noticing my presence. Nervous, I tried to get closer and talk a little. But I couldn't, because I couldn't say a word, I just limited myself to observing her for the brief moment that she was present. Perhaps making her uncomfortable. Well, it was obvious that I liked her, and I hoped he would notice. After a while, she left, while I accompanied her with her gaze, because she could no longer direct my attention in another direction. Now, all my attention was focused on her.
I was sure; She was the woman. It was what I expected, but now, I felt unable to win her over. Well, now she was afraid of rejection, afraid of trying and failing, afraid that she would walk away from her. I felt so afraid of so many absurd things, that at times I thought it would be better not to say a word to him. How could such a pretty girl notice me? I had never felt confusion like this, and this was a good sign for me. For this meant that this time was different. But also, it could be that if she risked me, I might be left worse off than before. And the disappointment would be even greater.
He still hadn't exchanged a word with her, and he was already a wreck. Dreaming of one and a thousand possibilities. I imagined what it would be like if she also wanted to get into a relationship with me. Creating endless stories in my mind, rehearsing so many ways to talk to her. Discarding all of them in the end, because I didn't know if she would be able to approach me and talk to her. At times, she believed me capable, and she told myself that the next time, she would dare to do it. Tell her that I liked her, and that I would like to get to know her better, and maybe even have a relationship with her. But then it saddened me to think, that he would surely tell me, that there was no chance of that happening. That I wasn't her type, that he was very ugly, or simply that she wasn't interested.
One day, I told one of my brothers, and he instantly told me:
—You are in love! —I said it wasn't possible, because I didn't know her, I had barely seen her, and I only knew her name.
—And? love enters through the eyes, silly.
—But how do I do it? What do I tell them?
—I dont know. Talk to her, ask her things, you have to know her.
Maybe she was right, and it was true that I had fallen in love with her. Maybe this was proof to me that love at first sight really does exist. And so, she would become my first love. Perhaps an impossible love. I waited patiently until I saw her again, to find out if what I felt was really love.
And seeing her again, I found out. Well, I couldn't even speak, my knees were shaking, my hands were sweating, and I felt my heart coming out of my throat. There was no longer any doubt, it was actually she who he had waited so long for. But now I didn't know what I had to do to make her notice me too. Well, she didn't pay much attention to me. Many times she didn't even look at me. It was as if I was invisible, and when I tried to get closer to talk to her, I would just divert my attention away from her to talk to someone else.
But little by little I was finding a way to have his attention. I started by talking a little and leaving. There were video game machines in the place, and I used to play with it. I took advantage of being close to her to make a couple of meaningless comments, and thus know if she really would talk to me, I let her win and she laughed. Thus, I was gaining more and more confidence. After a couple of weeks, you could say that we were already friends. Whenever she arrived, I would go over and talk to her a little. We played a game of slot machines, and as always, she won. I don't know if she knew how much I liked her, since I hadn't told her yet, but I'm sure she showed it to me. Well, every day that she looked at her, we chatted a little more. She was the one who talked the most, she asked me many questions and I only answered. Sometimes I didn't know what to say and I just stayed there listening to her talk, seeing her be beautiful and nice. My eyes were lost in the movement of her lips, that she wanted more every day. I dreamed of daring to kiss them, and knowing if the taste of her was as delicious as I imagined. But she always ran away before she could tell her how much I liked her.
So I made the decision. He was willing to tell her up front and bluntly, a direct, "I like you." I waited for his arrival, sitting in the same place, trying to be visible when he entered the place. For hours I was waiting, looking down the street. The sun went away and the moon came, and she did not appear. My friends arrived, some left and others stayed for a while. The lord of the store closed her place, and she did not arrive. My friends left, and she arrived at midnight. She didn't come, she came at dawn, and I was still sitting in the same place. I smoked half a box of cigarettes and she never came.
I went home thoughtful. Wondering if maybe I wasted too much time. If she wasn't interested in being with me, if she just looked at me as a friend, or maybe not even that. She maybe she was only talking to me because I insisted on approaching her.
I shook off the bad thoughts, and told myself <<tomorrow will come>>. The next day, it was a fact for me that I would see her. And that she would ask her to be my girlfriend. I promised myself that she would tell me yes.
But that next day, she didn't show up either. Not the next, not the next. Two weeks passed without anything interesting happening, other than the tedium of having to wait to see her again.
So many days of waiting, the kind that despairs, without news, without reward, and little by little with less hope. All those days passed and passed. And me, constantly looking at that corner. That corner that she never showed up around.
My eyes begged me to see her again, my ears screamed at me that they needed to hear her sweet voice, my nose anxiously wanted to smell that aroma again that was not perfume, nor was it the smell of her clothes; It was the wonderful smell of her skin, a smell that I had not discovered in anyone, a smell that hypnotized me and made me know her skin, without even having touched it. Well, she hadn't dared to even touch the skin of her hands, because she looked at her unreachable. As something that should not be touched because she mistreats herself.
But she didn't come, and for moments I thought she wouldn't. So I walked away from my constant guard, and mistakenly stopped waiting for her. That Sunday I decided to accompany my friend Ángel to the square, to distract myself for a while. We arrived, we walked, we met some girls, and we talked a few things with them. Then we said goodbye, and we agreed to talk again. But I kept thinking about Alba. I wanted to see her again. At times, my mind would go to be with her, so much so that I instantly forgot the name of who I had just met. But it didn't matter, because she didn't interest me.
When we returned, it was almost time for the store to close, where all my friends always gathered, and where I always waited for Alba. When we turned the corner, and the view allowed me to see the entrance of the store... Alba was leaving. Nerves and fear entered me suddenly, I regretted leaving my surveillance post, because I failed at the worst time. But all was not lost, she was there, within my reach, just a few steps away. I hurried to her side, and greeted her warmly. But she was indifferent.
—Hello! Where are you going? I can tell you something?
—No, I'm leaving. She said without even turning to look at me.
—I dont know. See what happens.
He didn't say anything else, and left. I was disappointed in myself, because I lost the opportunity that I had waited for so many days. I got ready to wait again, because I had no more. Four more days of unbearable waiting followed. My sight in that corner where she didn't turn and no matter how long I waited. She didn't come back.
Vielen Dank für das Lesen!
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