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Monday May 31, 2021

todaytoday I woke up really bad with a horrible depression,The only thing I wanted in the world today was to die to sleep and never wake up I was talking to my godfather on WhatsApp and he was very sad that I was like this as i lay in bed i kept thinking i will not be able to fulfill my dream of being a mother my dream of going to canada to live there or see a fairy to make my dreams come true,in case you're wondering i still believe in fairies in all kinds of mystical and magical creatures


I also remembered the time at school where no one wanted to be near me only my sister I remembered the things my family called me snake demonstration I don't feel good I haven't eaten so far and it's already 6:09 pm I went back to sleep because at least sleeping I could make all my dreams come true, I'm feeling very bad I really want to eat sushi which by the way is what I love to eat the most of different foods, the friends I had all went away some died others were married and didn't want to be near me I don't know why I respected them their wives I respected boundaries these things hurt and it hurts a lot my brother-in-law is a very good person for me my husband too he says I'll get everything I want but for those who live in Brazil it's a little difficult to live in Canada because Canadians attack you if you speak Portuguese at least some and don't tell me that some people's mental problems I have psychosis I don't attack anyone who is different from me they just hate brazilians is what I learned from Brazilians who go abroad and talk about what they went through but i think there must be good people so much american canadian texans there must be good people in these places infoline good people I have two friends who live in Texas they helped me a lot in my depression Jeff azar and Madeline my best friends have a french friend who lives in quebec canada she is also amazing some friends who live in the United States, others in London who are very nice too who have an incredible heart


back to the subject i'm not putting up with all this anymore without being able to fulfill my dreams, not being able to work because I am disabled I know being disabled is not an excuse but besides mental disorders I have vision problem spinal deviation and atrophy of the tendons of the feet and this makes it impossible for me to make physical effort some people who do not understand this say that I put myself as poor thing but it is not true I do not like to stand still doing nothing this is a reason to make me sad when someone comes to me and says that we’re doing poor thing as if I’ve stuck a knife in my back I play the poor thing I live reality before judging, get along and see someone's difficulties

31. Mai 2021 22:04:57 0 Bericht Einbetten Follow einer Story
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